Don’t get me wrong, I like being able to honor my own mother, and give her the thanks she deserves, but since she lives in a different city I don’t usually spend the day with her.

I’ve had this conversation with other moms over the years, so I know I am not alone. I think the thing is, it is a day specifically set aside where we feel (or we choose to feel) “judged” on our mothering skills. And as much as I try not to, if I’m really honest, I do find myself comparing myself to moms who seem to have it all together. I’m talking about moms who…

• always speak in quiet tones to their children,
• have dinner on the table every night,
• are on the booster club of every sport their child participates in,
• volunteer constantly at their children’s schools,
• understand the ‘new math’ and how to explain it to their kids,
• never miss reading with them at bedtime
• have a healthy breakfast AND after school snack every day,
• know how to make a delicious apple pie,
• bake their own bread (including grinding their own wheat)
• have an immaculate home,
• are always caught up on laundry,
• know the exact right words to say to get their kids to practice piano or other musical instruments every day,
• actually have long term follow-through on chore charts,
• have all their scrapbooks up to date,
• know how to say “no” and mean it,

…the list can go on and on if we let it.

Mothering is so individual and such a tender topic, none of us want to go to church and hear stories of amazing mothers and feel we can’t measure up. But the truth is there is no “perfect mother”.

However, I do believe we are all “perfectly matched up” in a way that is divinely orchestrated by God, with the little souls that come into our lives and call us mama.

I trust that as mothers we are all doing the best we can. It really helps to recognize and acknowledge our own gifts, abilities, and talents, and how those fit with the needs and gifts of our children.

This year I will be traveling on Sat, spending Mother’s Day Sunday with a friend, then attending a coaching/collaboration retreat for a few days. So, I was feeling a little bad about not being home for Mother’s Day- then this idea floated in:

“Write each of your kids a sweet note telling them how much you adore them and love being their mother!”

Wow, just that thought makes me see Mother’s Day in a different (and much better) light. Instead of making it about me, (since I am the mother, after all), I now see it as a fantastic opportunity to make my kids feel special and remind them of my unconditional love for them.

I may not do all the things on that list above, but my children are mine for a reason. I am blessed that I get to be mother to these special souls. God knows my weaknesses, my tendencies, my imperfections, and he sent me the children whose personalities can help me and teach me. And boy, do we learn a lot from being a mother. And I love every second of it!

What’s going on?

Our ability to create sufficient money in our lives is anchored by our financial attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors—what you believe can be true for your life. When these beliefs and values remain unexamined, they can get in the way of a sense of wellbeing and security. Here are a few of the more common attitudes that get in people’s way:

I Don’t Like Money; I Don’t Care about Money

This attitude is held by people at all income levels. It can have its origin in religious beliefs, political beliefs or guilt at inherited privilege. Pam is a child of the 60’s who says she doesn’t really like money. She never allows herself to have what she truly wants and always buys the cheapest version. She’s a landscape designer, but regularly under-bills her clients. A classic under-earner, she sometimes relies on credit cards for basic expenses such as rent.

I’m Clueless about Money

Doug rarely balances his bank statements, doesn’t know how much money he has or spends and, as a result, finds himself saddled with late fees and bounced check charges. People like Doug may believe that they’re not skilled enough to handle their money or may think that money is uncouth. Doug makes a good income, but his unwillingness to pay attention to it also makes him vulnerable to theft, fraud, debt he can’t afford and bankruptcy.

I Don’t Have Enough Money

Sarah worries often about money. Although her income is twice that of her friends, she talks to them often about how hard it is to pay the bills. At the root of Sarah’s fear may be a belief that she can’t take care of herself or that the world is a harsh place with scarce resources. People like Sarah sometimes fear that they will lose everything and end up homeless.

I’ll Never Have Enough

Mike also feels that he doesn’t have enough money, but rather than feeling that the world is a harsh place for everyone, he believes it is especially hard for him. Other people will do just fine, but he’ll always be poor. If you try to encourage him, he’ll list the many strikes against him. People like Mike are often under-earners, blind to the opportunities that are available.

If any of these attitudes resonate, you may want to explore them with compassion for yourself and support. As you bring awareness to self-limiting beliefs and adopt a more empowering stance, you expand into a larger sense of personal freedom. Also, healing our personal relationship with money helps build a solid foundation for weathering economic storms.

I am aware that as the CEO of my own company I work too much, in fact, more than I need to, and although I do love my work, I am now taking important measures to curb my working hours.

During the past few months I’ve had several projects going on all at the same time, plus traveling to speak and teach, and I have even heard these words come out of my mouth a few times, “I have got to slow down!”

With the busy-ness going on, my much anticipated bike rides have become even more elusive and valuable to me!  It had been a few days since I felt I had the hour to spare to go riding, so a week ago, on a beautiful Saturday afternoon I created the space and it felt so great to be out on my bike again!

I was going down a big hill really fast (done it so many times before) and missed the corner at the bottom (a dang bird flew up)….my tires dropped into the gravel on the left outside of the bike path and I flew off my bike to the right, landing hard on my hip, chest, and mostly face.  I’m so happy that by landing on the front of my helmet it saved me! Thank goodness my husband Dean was on the ride with me. He helped me and my bike get to the top of the hill, where a friend he had called came to pick us and our bikes up in his truck. Yes, I heard my mother’s voice in my head as I was walking back up the hill,  “Carolyn, you have got to slow down!”  Hmm…perhaps I should take a little of that advice.

I won’t bore you with anymore of the details…but here are some photos:

Back home, right after…you can’t see the road rash on knee, elbow, hands My helmet saved me! The cut over my eye was from the edge of my helmet. I did a face plant, but was just happy I didn’t break any teeth! Maybe my nose, though…but I pushed it into place and think it’s ok. Against my neighbor/nurse orders, I just used geranium oil (instead of stitches) on my chin and eye with a butterfly band-aid and by next morning both gashes were totally sealed.

Cleaning the wounds -check out the head flashlight…cracks me up!

Day 2   (and yes, I went to Easter Sunday church, the purple eye was a big hit)

Dean left his morning meetings on Sunday to come home and wash my hair in the sink for me before church. Is that the most dreamy thing, or what?  (He’s not called Dean-the-Dream for nothing )

Day 3 (today) getting better, but more green/blue each day Hmm…and scarier looking! My hair is getting worse each day-haha!

I LOVE how the body knows how to heal, but we also need to give it what it needs to help it along. Here is what I did…Please understand, I am not giving this a medical advice, it’s only what I am personally doing for myself in my own situation, since friends have asked: Of course right away I used my SimplyHealed Method to energetically release the trauma from my body, I also went to a chiropractor on Monday morning and he helped a lot to re-align my ribs on right side.  Then I had a Cranial Sacral session on Thurs which was amazing and I feel much better!  I am certain the fact that I eat a plant-based diet with no sugar for the past 4 months has been very instrumental in helping my body heal quickly. The essential oils I used are: geranium, frankincense, lavender (to prevent scars), and I love Dr Christopher’s Comfrey Ointment -that has been amazing for healing the road rash!  Some Arnica -this is a homeopathic taken internally for healing bruising, although I forgot to take it the first 5 days, or I’m certain the black eye would have healed even more quickly. And of course, prayer.    I’m so grateful for heavenly protection…It could’ve been worse!

So….are there truly no accidents? Of course I must ask myself, as we all must when unexpected ‘lessons’ surprise us:  “What can I learn from this?” Sometimes I really do get going too fast, on my bike and in my life. This is a great reminder for me to drop down into my heart, get out of my head and slow down. So my main lesson from this is: I can go a lot further by slowing down!  (Oh, and also…sometimes our mothers are right)

Set 1

1. There is a lot of bickering in our house. Someone is always angry at someone else.

2. There’s never enough time to sit down together, either to talk or to eat. There’s always too much to do.   3. My spouse and I argue a lot about how to raise the children.

4. It’s like pulling teeth to get the kids to help around the house.

5. Our family has experienced a lot of significant change recently (divorce, death, blending family, job loss, illness, other trauma).

6. Money is very tight. My partner and I have constant conflicts about how to spend it.

7. My child has been having behavioral problems at school.

8. The children get upset when they hear us arguing.

9. I work too much, and it’s really getting to me.

10. We don’t really talk about hard issues; we just try to hold our breath, wait and let them go away.

Set 2

1. We acknowledge feelings, encourage their expression and allow time for dealing with the issues these feelings raise.

2. We plan time for family activities. And we eat together at least once every day.

3. If a blended family, we maintain and nurture original parent-child relationships and let new relationships develop in their own time.

4. I feel confident in my role as parent.

5. Our family easily maintains a sense of humor and playfulness.

6. Family priorities take precedence over work.

7. I know what’s important to my kids.

8. When issues arise that we get stuck on, we ask for help from other family members, support groups, community-based programs, clergy and/or a therapist.

9. We have enough money for the important things.

10. Everyone in the family has responsibilities around the house and does them without being nagged.

If you answered true more often in the first set than in the second set, you may want to seek help lowering the stress level of your family. Families that communicate about problems, who face issues as they arise, who support one another and seek help when it is needed, can build strong bonds among themselves, nurture a healthy and loving family and have a lot more fun doing it!

***************************

Do you have a family that puts the FUN in dysfunction? Do you cringe at the thought of spending a weekend with certain family members?

Or, maybe you have a great family, but there’s been some recent ‘upsets’ that have caused some tension or awkwardness.

And yes, even if you feel like you are the only “normal” one in your family! We are the chain-breaking generation, and it’s time to release those unhealthy patterns.

Join me for our next Group Energy Clearing Session!

One of my favorite poems:

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes

You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

You’re on your own. And you know what you know.

And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

~Dr. Suess

Have a favorite poem or poet? Share with us below!

We blame, shame, call names of the meanest sort, nag, belittle and bully ourselves through self-talk.

What if, instead, we were gentler with ourselves, asked ourselves questions and listened to the responses.

What if we treated ourselves as we treat a best friend, someone we love dearly?

Here’s a Top Ten list of loving things to say to yourself:

1. What do you feel?

Asking ourselves what we feel can help put names to, and identify emotions. Listening for the response and being honest with ourselves is like taking our emotional temperature.

2. What do you need?

A need is different from a want. Whereas a want states a desire, a need is usually a statement about nurturing. Pay attention to your needs, they’re about caring for yourself.

3. Good job

Congratulate yourself on a job well done whether it’s mowing the lawn, writing a poem or cleaning the bathroom. Give yourself a verbal pat on the back.

4. I apologize

Saying “I’m sorry” for all the wrongs we have done ourselves can be the first step in healing.

5. Let’s play

Lighten up and be playful. Listen to what comes up when you suggest play.

6. Breathe

Reminding ourselves to breathe helps relieve tension, gives us that moment we sometimes need to center and ground ourselves.

7. I forgive you

Sometimes it’s easier to forgive others than to forgive ourselves. Yet, to have closure and to move on, often means we have to forgive ourselves.

8. Let go

Releasing worries, resentments, anger, fears loosens the grip of resistance and makes room for growth.

9. Be present

Staying present, being aware of the physical, acknowledging the moment, this is when we are truly alive.

10. I love you!

We say it to others, why not say it to ourselves. Say it again.

Author’s content used under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

1. Greet your loved ones with a big smile, a hug and a kiss.

2. Really listen to what your loved ones are saying; give them your undivided and undistracted attention.

3. Support each other through tough times.

4. Do simple (even random) acts of kindness, such as massaging shoulders or feet, cooking a favorite meal, running a bath.

5. Spend one-on-one time with your loved ones, with no particular agenda.

6. Commit to letting go of judgment of their faults.

7. Come home on time.

8. Be impeccable with your word. If you say you’ll do something, do it, and by the time you said you’d do it.

9. Take responsibility for your part in any conflict, and then look at how you can do better next time. Step out of the blame game.

10. Share yourself and what lives deeply inside of you. This is a precious gift and conveys trust and security.

As we step through the doorway from one year to the next, it’s natural to do as Janus does: look back and ahead. But this year, instead of just reflecting on the past year or making New Year’s resolutions, consider using this first part of the year to take stock of your life.

Who are you? What do you believe? What do you really need?

When we discover who we really are, we stop living on auto-pilot and start to live with intention, focus and purpose. Our choices become clearer. We begin to make active choices in our life, instead of making excuses or passively living with the status quo.

Here are a few questions to get you started. Have a journal or some way to record your thoughts. (Writing by hand keeps you in touch with your breath and your heart.)

•  What is aching to be expressed?

•  What needs healing

•  What unique gifts, talents and skills do you bring to the world? How are you using them (or not)?

•  Who do you need to forgive? How about yourself?

•  What beliefs are holding you back or getting in your way?

•  What can you let go of in your life?

•  What makes you happy?

Don’t forget to consider the vital information that other “parts” of yourself are giving you. When you use only your head, your experience of yourself and the world is more limited.

•  What is your body telling you? When someone yells at you, does your stomach tie up in knots? Do your shoulders stiffen when you’ve been too focused on fulfilling others’ needs and ignoring your own? Notice the messages your body is giving you.

•  Check in with your heart. The heart is the home of what is most alive in us. What does your heart have to say about your job? About how you spend your days? Does it need more play time? What, according to your heart, really matters?

•  Listen to your intuition, your “gut.” Your intuition speaks volumes, but often gets ignored. What is this voice saying now?

Don’t forget to notice what you already have that is working. Acknowledge and give thanks for the gifts and the beauty and the miracles that are in your life right now. Write them down.

Tell the truth. Now is the time to start being honest about who you really are. Encouraging those unlived parts of ourselves to emerge can provide an exhilarating sense of discovery and optimism for the New Year and beyond.

1. What have I accomplished this year? Be specific. Write it all down. Schedule some time to celebrate this!

2. What have I learned this year? What skills did you pick up? What emotional lessons?

3. What got in my way? This is where your work will be next year. Be honest if it was your own self that got in the way.

4. Who contributed to my successes? What can you do to recognize these members of your personal or professional team?

5. What mistakes did I make, and what did I learn from them? Writing these down is a good refresher for what not to do next year.

6. How was my work consistent with my values? What will you do with the inconsistencies?

7. Where did I not take responsibility? Sometimes this is easier to see with a little distance from the actual event.

8. How did my performance rate? Give yourself a letter grade or a 1-10 score.

9. What do I need to let go of? Doing so can help you move much more lightly into the new year.

10. What was missing for me this year? How can you incorporate them into next year?

Bonus Question: What is your personal THEME for 2013?  (Your THEME should be an empowering word or phrase that speaks to what you want to accomplish in the coming year).

Well, I have a bit of news regarding that world. My friend,
Marnie Pehrson, the creator of the longest running article
directory (IdeaMarketers) just closed the doors on her site
and completely reinvented it under a new model (IgnitePoint.com)
Why? Because she says article marketing just isn’t working the
way it used to. In fact, if done improperly, it can be
detrimental to you.
WOW, that’s quite a shift in the online marketing world!
It just goes to show that you have to be constantly on
your toes when doing business online.

You’ve probably felt some of the frustration with
marketing your services online. This is why Marnie is
putting together a panel of successful entrepreneurs to
share what’s working and what’s not in the ever-shifting
online marketplace. She’s invited me to participate
on this panel and share what works for me in my business.

If you’re trying to find new clients online, you definitely
want to attend this call coming up Wednesday,
December 12, 2012. It will be recorded. So even if you’re
busy and can’t attend live, be sure to register for the audio.

To receive this timely information, go to

http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=1453646

See you there!